Artcitran is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient seal.

Artcitran created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Artcitran, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Artcitran, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Artcitran's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Artcitran's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. Swans are not to be trusted.

4. Hide if nine snails approach from the north.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.