Metlargcan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, passionate salamander.

Metlargcan created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Metlargcan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metlargcan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Metlargcan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Metlargcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ducks.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not hurt foxes.