Gofnulpag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish swan.

Gofnulpag created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gofnulpag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gofnulpag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gofnulpag's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gofnulpag's Holy Commandments

1. Gofnulpag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Do not take Gofnulpag's name in vain.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. Never eat aubergines.