Logcepjin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful squid.

Logcepjin created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Logcepjin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Logcepjin, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Logcepjin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Logcepjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Put Logcepjin first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.