Bestrulljon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful scorpion.

Bestrulljon created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestrulljon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bestrulljon, she will make you grow a tail.

Bestrulljon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bestrulljon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.