Bassflistif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, proud frog.

Bassflistif created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassflistif, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bassflistif, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bassflistif's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bassflistif's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bassflistif.

2. Do not take Bassflistif's name in vain.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Feed all hungry moths.