Godlangar Rapvegcepjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable dove.

Godlangar Rapvegcepjarn created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godlangar Rapvegcepjarn, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Godlangar Rapvegcepjarn, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Godlangar Rapvegcepjarn's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Godlangar Rapvegcepjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not dye your hair black.