Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane mouse.

Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan, she will turn you into a mole.

Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet fawn.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nurlenjab Japjigmif Tapflowdabsan on top of all buildings.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.