Pidfitdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, charitable swallow.

Pidfitdiss created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidfitdiss, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pidfitdiss, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pidfitdiss' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Pidfitdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Never feed corn to goats while wearing magenta boots.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think ill of sick frogs.

5. Pray towards the east.