Bedmilnul is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, selfish wombat.

Bedmilnul created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedmilnul, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bedmilnul, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bedmilnul's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bedmilnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bedmilnul's name in vain.

2. Never feed melons to sharks while wearing indigo boots.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Fast once a month.