Figyarlyarpbot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, competent ferret.

Figyarlyarpbot created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Figyarlyarpbot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Figyarlyarpbot, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Figyarlyarpbot's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Figyarlyarpbot's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Respect your elders.