Nurlshavdab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, merciless porpoise.

Nurlshavdab created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlshavdab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlshavdab, she will turn you into a slug.

Nurlshavdab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Nurlshavdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Nurlshavdab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not take Nurlshavdab's name in vain.

4. Never think ill of sick manatees.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.