Kimvinyim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited shrew.

Kimvinyim created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimvinyim, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kimvinyim, it will remove you from existence.

Kimvinyim's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kimvinyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Run away if three gulls approach from the south.

5. Pray towards the east.