Babbestbud Nurtwabquart Parkwotdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, witty chinchilla.

Babbestbud Nurtwabquart Parkwotdiss created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babbestbud Nurtwabquart Parkwotdiss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Babbestbud Nurtwabquart Parkwotdiss, he will turn you into a hamster.

Babbestbud Nurtwabquart Parkwotdiss' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Babbestbud Nurtwabquart Parkwotdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed cucumbers to snakes while wearing green shirts.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to music.