Tikwadcadhud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest pig.

Tikwadcadhud created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikwadcadhud, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tikwadcadhud, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tikwadcadhud's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tikwadcadhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Never bounce near badgers.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never wear gray skirts.