Nuttartfag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unfair ant.

Nuttartfag created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttartfag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nuttartfag, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nuttartfag's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nuttartfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.