Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, grumpy otter.

Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf, it will be very unhappy.

Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide from violet whales for they are unholy.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect three silicon sculptures of Hapgutdob Dapcenxen Gebgarstaf on top of important buildings.