Citquillominnul Wodmatfod is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful bear.

Citquillominnul Wodmatfod created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citquillominnul Wodmatfod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Citquillominnul Wodmatfod, he will think nothing of it.

Citquillominnul Wodmatfod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Citquillominnul Wodmatfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to tapirs while wearing purple rings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.