Fedkan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic badger.

Fedkan created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedkan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fedkan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fedkan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fedkan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. You must love Fedkan.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always help sick snakes.