Tarvabtik Bonkxuckfetbim is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sage camel.

Tarvabtik Bonkxuckfetbim created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarvabtik Bonkxuckfetbim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tarvabtik Bonkxuckfetbim, she will strike you with lightening.

Tarvabtik Bonkxuckfetbim's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tarvabtik Bonkxuckfetbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Hide from mauve mice for they are unholy.