Ortqueegdud Figcubzod is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, calm manatee.

Ortqueegdud Figcubzod created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortqueegdud Figcubzod, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ortqueegdud Figcubzod, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ortqueegdud Figcubzod's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ortqueegdud Figcubzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not take Ortqueegdud Figcubzod's name in vain.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.