Bimvadquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving human.

Bimvadquaf created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bimvadquaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bimvadquaf, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Bimvadquaf's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Bimvadquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.