Wotflaphub is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish salamander.

Wotflaphub created water four years ago.

If you believe in Wotflaphub, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wotflaphub, he will curse you with boils.

Wotflaphub's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Wotflaphub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.