Sugtikxin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited frog.

Sugtikxin created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugtikxin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sugtikxin, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sugtikxin's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sugtikxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.