Spagnutxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ruthless donkey.

Spagnutxuck created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Spagnutxuck, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Spagnutxuck, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Spagnutxuck's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Spagnutxuck's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Spagnutxuck.

2. Erect five zinc sculptures of Spagnutxuck on top of important buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Spagnutxuck.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about stars.