Logjapcandib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring raccoon.

Logjapcandib created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Logjapcandib, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Logjapcandib, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Logjapcandib's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Logjapcandib's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.