Nurlflatbut is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, idiotic donkey.

Nurlflatbut created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Nurlflatbut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlflatbut, he will send you a sign.

Nurlflatbut's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nurlflatbut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight foxes approach from the east.

2. Nurlflatbut must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Always wear purple.