Mobjipsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awe-inspiring mole.

Mobjipsaw created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobjipsaw, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mobjipsaw, he will torture you forever.

Mobjipsaw's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Mobjipsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help bats in need.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Mobjipsaw.