Cissflisarm is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, astonishing dolphin.

Cissflisarm created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissflisarm, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cissflisarm, it will turn you into a mole.

Cissflisarm's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Cissflisarm's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight seals approach from the east.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about fire.