Bompag is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, deceitful newt.

Bompag created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bompag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bompag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bompag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bompag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Bompag on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.