Fitjadhitstipgofwegtonxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, emotional sheep.

Fitjadhitstipgofwegtonxen created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitjadhitstipgofwegtonxen, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fitjadhitstipgofwegtonxen, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fitjadhitstipgofwegtonxen's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fitjadhitstipgofwegtonxen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sit near otters.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.