Dobtettivonkboss is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unselfish hamster.

Dobtettivonkboss created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobtettivonkboss, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dobtettivonkboss, it will turn you into a dog.

Dobtettivonkboss' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Dobtettivonkboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dobtettivonkboss.

4. Hide if seven whales approach from the north.

5. Dobtettivonkboss loves shrews, so they must be honoured.