Hitvogjipzak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful badger.

Hitvogjipzak created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hitvogjipzak, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hitvogjipzak, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Hitvogjipzak's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Hitvogjipzak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always obey Hitvogjipzak's priests.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never sing in the presence of foxes.