Lenmumtim Witmistonkxem is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, charitable beaver.

Lenmumtim Witmistonkxem created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Lenmumtim Witmistonkxem, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lenmumtim Witmistonkxem, she will strike you with lightening.

Lenmumtim Witmistonkxem's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lenmumtim Witmistonkxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

4. Never wear magenta trousers.

5. Always take life seriously.