Banpinstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, overgenerous cobra.

Banpinstrag created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Banpinstrag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Banpinstrag, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Banpinstrag's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Banpinstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help tapirs.