Yatqueeghug is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy mouse.

Yatqueeghug created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatqueeghug, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yatqueeghug, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yatqueeghug's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Yatqueeghug's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Yatqueeghug on top of all buildings.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.