Sugbarncumdav is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, bad-tempered gerbil.

Sugbarncumdav created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugbarncumdav, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sugbarncumdav, it will turn you into a worm.

Sugbarncumdav's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Sugbarncumdav's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Run away from pink snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Do not take Sugbarncumdav's name in vain.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.