Lidwabpid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, confident hydra.

Lidwabpid created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidwabpid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lidwabpid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Lidwabpid's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Lidwabpid's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Lidwabpid.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Always help horses.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.