Bansasgum is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate dolphin.

Bansasgum created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bansasgum, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bansasgum, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bansasgum's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bansasgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always wear green.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bansasgum on top of all buildings.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.