Gunbomjig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate capybara.

Gunbomjig created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbomjig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gunbomjig, he will turn you into a plant.

Gunbomjig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gunbomjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Never talk about amino acids.