Kem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing alligator.

Kem created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kem, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kem, it will turn you into a rock.

Kem's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Kem's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never feed strawberries to pigs while wearing white trousers.

3. Hide if nine frogs approach from the east.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.