Dobjarnfob is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive jaguar.

Dobjarnfob created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobjarnfob, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dobjarnfob, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dobjarnfob's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dobjarnfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dobjarnfob.

4. Never wear white shoes.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.