Vigxuctag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, benevolent duck.

Vigxuctag created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigxuctag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vigxuctag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Vigxuctag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Vigxuctag's Holy Commandments

1. Vigxuctag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. You must pray to Vigxuctag nine times a day.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.