Teenwiplarp Beghengeb Venfarzen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy dingo.

Teenwiplarp Beghengeb Venfarzen created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Teenwiplarp Beghengeb Venfarzen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Teenwiplarp Beghengeb Venfarzen, she will not care.

Teenwiplarp Beghengeb Venfarzen's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Teenwiplarp Beghengeb Venfarzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never eat coconuts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always pray immersed in water.