Cadvonfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-assured tortoise.

Cadvonfeb created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cadvonfeb, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cadvonfeb, she will be very unhappy.

Cadvonfeb's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cadvonfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always look after injured snakes.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.