Flaptettihot is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring grasshopper.

Flaptettihot created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaptettihot, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flaptettihot, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flaptettihot's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Flaptettihot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never feed strawberries to sharks while wearing yellow rings.

3. Flaptettihot must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Flaptettihot loves swans, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.