Jabhugquam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong crab.

Jabhugquam created the Black Eye Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabhugquam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jabhugquam, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jabhugquam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Jabhugquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.