Figdimflis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful seal.

Figdimflis created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Figdimflis, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Figdimflis, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Figdimflis' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Figdimflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.