Ladcimdubkarbet is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable crocodile.

Ladcimdubkarbet created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladcimdubkarbet, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ladcimdubkarbet, she will turn you into a plant.

Ladcimdubkarbet's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ladcimdubkarbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near sharks.

2. Hide from yellow eagles for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Ladcimdubkarbet on top of all buildings.

4. Hide if six otters approach from the west.

5. Do not wear green clothing.