Gofjabquat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, vain squirrel.

Gofjabquat created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofjabquat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gofjabquat, she will strike you with lightening.

Gofjabquat's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Gofjabquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to bats while wearing orange tights.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Gofjabquat must be the most important thing in your life.